John has much to teach us about this. These epistles are thought to be the latest of the New Testament documents, and here John is already addressing the doctrinal drift that occurred in the years after the apostles died. The drift was away from a belief in the literal death and resurrection of Jesus, and toward a fuzzy yet dangerous idea that everything about the body was bad. Thus, the spiritual component of Christ's being must be emphasized and worshipped, and everything that testified of Him as a corporeal being, both before and after death, must be avoided. John describes the anti-Christ as anyone who denies the literal resurrection of Jesus, and reminds us that he is a living witness of that reality; he had handled and seen the resurrected Lord.
Learning to Love as Christ Loves
Given the environment in which he found himself it is interesting that John would choose to fill his few chapters, not with a doctrinal discourse about these issues, but about the love of God. "God is love," he says simply, and says it over and over. And then these insightful words: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18) What does love look like when it is mixed with fear? It may include such elements as manipulation, blame, criticism, contention, etc. When we take the element of fear out of love, when our love is given freely and without condition, these elements tend to disappear, and be replaced by mutual respect, harmony and forgiveness.
Jesus used several telling metaphors to describe the way that He loved. He described himself, for example, as a mother hen, gathering her chicks under her wings. (Hard to imagine him in the role of rooster.) He also used the image of the shepherd, one who knows each lamb by name, and whose voice they recognize and trust. Who knows your voice? Our family members and close friends might constitute our "flock." How do we interact with those closest to us? Is our love manifested more through control or influence?
The word "control" comes from the Latin contra or against, and rotula or to roll, as in rolling something up a hill. The word "influence" comes from the Latin influentia meaning to flow into. (Fluid and fluency are related words.) At some point we realize the impossibility of controlling those around us, even in small ways. People can always tell when we have a hidden agenda! Perhaps we should concentrate instead on increasing the influence we have in others' lives. Prayer, faith, encouragement, and above all, the pure love that comes as a gift from the Savior, can do more to help and heal others than all of the solutions we might suggest.
As my children grew to adulthood I spent a lot of time thinking about how to love them in our new roles. In other words, I began to learn the difference between control and influence. I was assigned to address a women's conference on parenting, and I distilled all of those thoughts into a paper that I offer as a Mother's Day gift to you. God is love, yet we are very human. As we learn to love without condition, we draw closer to Him, and bless the lives of those around us. So it's worth trying to take it up a notch, don't you think?
If anything in this paper is useful to you, I'll be glad, and wish you all a happy Mother's Day.
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